Reclaiming Your Sexuality After Trauma

This Sexual Assault Awareness Month, let’s emphasize survivors’ right to joy and pleasure after sexual trauma.

I remember learning about it during welcome week at my tiny liberal arts college in the form of cheesy skits about preventing sexual assault on campus. My mom also gave me a whole spiel about safety at school but when it came down to it—I didn’t know my rights or what to do when I was sexually assaulted during my sophomore year of college.

According to a new study, bisexual women (like myself) are more likely than heterosexual women to be sexually assaulted during their college years.

The research published in the journal, Violence and Gender shows that nearly 2 in every 5 bisexual female college students will be sexually assaulted by the time they complete four years in school. That’s more than the 1 in 4 heterosexual women, and the 1 in 4 gay and bisexual men who are likely to experience the same.

And while it’s discouraging to learn about statistics like the one above, it also shows that more work needs to be done to protect LGBTQ+ students on campus. Because trauma can impact not only our mental and emotional well-being, it can also affect our sexual lives and how we experience pleasure. But luckily, it doesn’t always have to be that way.

So, let’s dive deeper into how comprehensive sex ed can be used as a tool for sexual assault prevention and what it means to reclaim your sexuality after trauma.

How can comprehensive sex ed help prevent sexual assault?

Young people don’t know what we don’t teach them. And if we don’t give them all of the tools they need to feel confident making decisions about their own body and relationships—then we’re doing them a serious disservice.

Young people don’t know what we don’t teach them. And if we don’t give them all of the tools they need to feel confident making decisions about their own body and relationships—then we’re doing them a serious disservice.

This includes equipping youth with information about their rights, how to talk to their partner(s) about STI status, the ins and outs of consent (both digital and IRL), what healthy relationships look like, and so much more.

It took me two years of to realize what happened to me was rape and that despite what I used to think—it was not my fault. Now, I whole-heartedly believe that if I had comprehensive sex education growing up, or even knew where to look online to find information on sexual health information as a young adult, I would have realized it sooner.

The power of moving through trauma to tap into pleasure

It wasn’t until one of my best friends gifted me my first ever sex toy (a hot pink bullet vibrator from a store in the mall) for my 21^st birthday that I was able to tap into pleasure and start my healing process.

At first, I was so nervous to even use it that I kept it in the sock drawer of my dresser—scared that even trying to experience pleasure would unleash a floodgate of pent-up emotions stemming from my sexual trauma. But that one little vibrator helped me take ownership of my body and experience sexual joy before I was ready to get intimate with another person.

It’s important that we celebrate the strength it takes to reclaim our bodies after trauma.

Spectrum Journal has incredible articles (and videos!) to support anyone on their journey to sensual self-discovery after trauma with topics including Untelling the Myth of Virginity, Talking Pleasure Activivism with arienne marie brown, and much more.

Resources to share with young people in your life

Not sure where to start with sharing inclusive information about sexual assault, consent, and pleasure with the young people in your life? We’ve got you covered!